Right when I hit send on my last post “A response to too many frogs” I felt how utterly wrong what I posted is. Just absolutely, utterly wrong, the second I hit send.

What I know is wrong is this - we are in a time of war, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t get to rest. If I burn myself out, I’m less useful. This is a long battle, and that requires restoration. A lot of restoration. I will never again feel bad about taking a nap, reading a fiction book, or just generally lounging around. Life should be high energy attacks, coupled with low energy rest. Just like a good night’s sleep building back your muscles after a hard workout.

However what troubled me most about the blog post I just wrote is an implicit value I didn’t even realize I had. I think that value is “humanities collective well being is something worth fighting for”

Is it right for me to make my life misery, in order to help a completely abstract concept of ‘humanity’? Or do I deserve to make my life wonderful, for me? I think this is a question I had never considered - I had always assumed that the collective humanity was a cause worth fighting for, since there were no other causes that seemed to matter. But what if that’s wrong? What if there are causes more important than just an abstract notion of “humanity’s well being”? What if my happiness is a cause worth fighting for?

If there are causes greater - what do those causes look like?

My life’s politics and philosophy has been getting stale recently and these shifts have been building in the background without me realizing it. Something finally broke, my worldview is shifting again. We’ll see how it comes out in a couple of months.